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Updated: Feb 4th, 2009 - 13:59:29 |
Bark the herald angels sing! Best wishes this holiday season! I was sleeping soundly (while visions of Greenies danced in my head), when my human looked up from her mug of cocoa and asked me, “So, Melody, what do you want for Christmas?” Ignoring my first instinct, which was to snarl and go back to sleep, I decided to come up with a list of ten things I would like to see under my tree this year. And so without further ado, I present to you All I Want For Christmas by yours truly, Melody Belle.
- A Bigger Bed: While it is nice to sleep in the big bed with my mommy, daddy and sister Emma they tend to take up too much room. I would like to have a bigger bed (complete with soft feather bed and clean duvet) in which to stretch out and snooze.
- A car: Sure walk-walks are fun, but I don’t get to where I need to be fast enough on four paws. I don’t ask for much: just a 2005 Volkswagen Beetle (chrome) with a booster seat so I can reach the pedals. And a snack bowl complete with snacks.
- A Kitty Slave: Luckily for Santa, the house already comes equipped with a kitty. All he has to do is make it my slave. She should bring me toys, bone-bones, blankets and errant bugs upon my request.
- DVDs: Specifically, Otis and Milo, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Lady and The Tramp, Cats and Dogs, Benji, Snow Dogs, Dogma and Monty Python’s Holy Grail. (I know there are no dogs in that one, but it’s funny and it makes me howl.)
- A Gilded Crate: Don’t get me wrong, I love my crate (it’s equipped with every possible canine amenity) but I could do with something fancier to impress the other pups.
- A Cat Torture Device: Otherwise known as a “squirt gun.”
- Peanut Butter Flavored Water: Santa is crafty; I expect he’d know a way to work out the logistics.
- Eau de Rodent Morte: Scent of dead squirrel or mouse is a classic in doggie perfume and I would be the toast of the town!
- A Kitty Slave: Ok, I know I said this already but I really want this!
- Adoration: Actually, my humans give me all the adoration I could ever desire, but I just want Santa to make sure it never stops!!! Kisses and squeezes are my favorite gifts!
So, if you see Santa or one of his elves, pass this list along! When my human read it she laughed and I’m afraid she thinks it was a joke. Be sure to tell him I won’t bite him again this year! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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