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Updated: Dec 11th, 2008 - 09:24:54 |
I have the best mom in the whole world…and I’ll bet you do too! This month we celebrate Mother’s Day, a whole day dedicated to celebrating the most important human female figure in your life. Now, I know many people who think that doggie mommies don’t count; that Mother’s Day is only for people who have small humans. Well, I call Shenanigans on them. Moms of canines are some of the most dedicated, loving and doting people on the planet and I should know because I am the proud fur-kid of one. I don’t think it’s fair to leave out the doggie mommies so in the spirit of celebrating mothers of all varieties, here are some things that you can do to let your own mom know how much you appreciate her!
Gifts
Now, I’m sure your mom doesn’t expect anything material from you. Your love and well being are all the gifts she requires. But it’s nice to give a small token of your appreciation; something she can show off or look at and think, “Man, I am totally loved!” Small gestures go a long way. Being a dog and all, you probably aren’t gainfully employed (unless you’re a show-biz dog, in which case you have no excuse not getting her something fancy, like a rhinestone leash or something). That’s ok! You don’t need money! This is good, because from what I hear she is always tied up with Bill. Some gift suggestions include:
• Silence: Ah, the sweet sound of nothing! There is a reason people say silence is golden; I am assuming it means that it is very valuable. But it’s also free! What luck! How about piping down and giving your mom some QT? You can always catch up the next day and bark yourself into a stupor.
• Kibble: Your mom is always giving you the good stuff. On Mother’s Day, go on and share the wealth! You can leave it someplace fun for her to find: on the pillow, in her slippers, by the door. And don’t worry if you forgot to share and have already snarfed it. Just a few quick burps and you can provide some perfectly good reconstituted kibble. Note: this is best left on the carpet.
• Dead stuff: I’m not saying you should go out and slay something, no matter how good you are at it (I’m a lover, not a fighter). But a dog’s nose is unparalleled for rooting out stuff that has gone to the great beyond, like expired milk cartons, old birds, dried worms and smelly socks (this must be the reason they stink, after all). My friend Chester likes to leave mice in his human’s shoes. He’s very thoughtful. You love dead stuff, I love dead stuff…I’m guessing moms will too.
• Toys: The best gift is something that means a lot to you, as well. Do you have a favored toy? Doesn’t matter if it is tattered or ragged; if you love it your mom will love it as well. That’s just how they operate. Offer her your treasure, preferably first thing in the morning when she is still asleep so she’ll really be surprised.
• Dust Bunnies: I always see my mom hunting for dust bunnies. I don’t know why, but she gets a kick out of feeding them to Vacuum (which is a little ruthless, if you ask me). Then again, Vacuum is a very loud, demanding creature and hey, we all have to eat. So, save her some time and gather all the dust bunnies you can find and bring them to the carpet, where Vacuum likes to take his meals.
• Diamonds: I heard TeeVee say that diamonds are forever. I don’t know what they are or where to find them, but if you can get your paws on some I’ll bet she’d like it just fine.
Love
As you know, this is all your mom truly wants anyway. I know you love her on a daily basis, but go that extra mile and really let her know you care:
• Stick like glue: Tell her you’d follow her to the ends of the Earth by literally following her to the ends of the Earth. Wherever she goes, you go. If you’re always by her side, she’ll understand that there is no place you’d rather be! If she tries to play coy and not let you in the bathroom, simply wait outside and give the door a good scratch so she knows you haven’t abandoned her.
• S.W.A.K!: Moms just loooove doggie kisses. Wake her up with a nice series of smooches. And then continue throughout the day, unprovoked.
• Smother the Mother: This can be accomplished in a variety of ways: sitting on her lap whenever she cops a squat, jumping up and giving her an impromptu hug, sneaking an extra sloppy smooch (see above), bay her a tune…any way you can let her know you care is fair game!
Follow my advice and you’ll really “wow” your mom! Happy Mother’s Day!!!
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